21.10.2009
Rajnagar was a small kingdom. Situated in a hilly region. Tall mountains kissing the blue skies circled around the kingdom as sentries.
Luscious green fields and small groves of trees were scattered here and there. A picture of peace.
But it was not, since last few years the dacoity in the erstwhile peaceful country has shot up. Small groups of bandits roamed around the kindom in darkness.
The king was sitting on his throne. His palace was made of marble, different shades has been used to give the palace an exquisite look. It looked like a dream situated right in the middle of the green country.
His throne was made of ivory and gold, his robe was stiched with priceless jewels. His crown burnt on his head like a sun.
He was wearing a dark frown, “General!!! How can this happen every night? What is the army doing?”
His army general, a plump fellow was shaking nervously, fearing decapitation, “Your honour, they disappear like magic before army can reach them.”
“I think the citizens are in cahoot with them.” one of the ministers said.
“Even the spies can not trace them.” another chimed in.
“That only shows your unworthiness!!!!” the king roared. “I will have to look for some other way to controll it!”
“I am rearing a army of idiots in my Court!” he got up and left the Court.
It was a full moon night. There was a small garden near the palace, a brook flowed by it. Suddenly a man appeared almost out of nowhere in the garden.
He took a look around him and when he became confident that no one has seen him he started to walk toward the nearest village.
The village seemed asleep, but it was not. He saw a thin ray of light coming out of the window of a hut. He softly tiptoed towards it.
He could see that someone has tried his level best to not let a single ray of light slip out of that window but it did.
To his surprise he saw a gathering of people inside the hut. They all were common villagers, aptly listening to a group of young people.
He softly hid himself in the dark completely and started to listen. To his utter surprise he realized that the young boys and girls were teaching those villagers.
Suddenly he saw a group of people rushing toward the door of the hut soundlessly.
One of them reached out and knocked the door in a strange manner, a coded knock was exchanged a few times and the door opened. The whole group entered without a sound.
The watcher softly crept back to the slit in the window. He saw that the new group was piling up their loot on the floor.
“so the ministers were right.” He thought inside, “the villagers are in cahoot.”
The loot was distributed among the villagers. One of the new comers said, “This will ensure your food for next few months. Now we will go to the next village.”
“If and only if our King cared for us. We did not have to do it… “ he said sadly, “his men rob these things from you during the day hours, wearing his badges in their arms, and we rob these things from them in the night so you could have a piece of bread on your plate.”
“Our king is not a very bad person, but he is blind. And he is being guided by greedy monsters.” The man continued. “For centuries the kingdom has only taken from us, without giving us back any thing..”
“They did not let us get educated because they were afraid that we will know our rights.”
“They just extracted their rights, forgetting the bitter fact that kingdom too have some duties toward its citizens.”
A swift goodbye was exchanged and the group left as silently as it came and disappeared in the darkness. The watcher followed them in stealth.
22.10.2009
A fortnight later the whole kingdom woke up to witness a strange scene.
The whole army was combing each and every house of the kingdom and picking up men, and women from homes. They left for the palace with them.
They were sent to a special section of prison, highly guarded.
The kingdom became absolutely peaceful again.
A few months later the same watcher appeared again in the same garden. He started to walk toward the same village.
This time he saw that the board has been removed from the window of the hut in which he saw the mysterious happenings.
He crawled toward the open window to have a look. He saw a family of four huddled together near a small hearth.
“Baba I am hungry.” One of the children whined. She was ten or eleven years old wearing a rag.
“wait for a while. You ate in the morning, did not you?” the man said gruffly. “Let your mother come back.”
“That was only one bread.” The girl whined piteously.
The watcher heard some movement and levelled himself with the wall. Someone knocked at the hut door. The man opened it from inside. “You are back.” He said. “The children are driving me crazy.”
A woman as thin as a skeleton entered the hut. “Don’t whine.”, she said roughly to the children, “Let me cook the meal for you.”
The watcher stared at the MEAL, it was leaves plucked from some unknown tree or vine. The woman started to boil them and he stealthily left the place.
His next stop was at the window of one of the ministers. The minister was having his dinner with his family.
He stood there and watched their lavish lifestyle, their gala dinner and wastage and crept away from there.
Another fortnight later the king called his courtiers to a special court.
“Is there any famine going on in my country?” he asked solemnly.
“No My Lord!!!!” his cashier answered, “The vault is filled with money and the granary is filled with grain.”
“Are you sure?” the king repeated his question.
“Yes my Lord.” Was the answer.
23.10.2009
“Bring those prisoners to the Court.” The king ordered.
One by one the prisoners were brought in the Court. They stood solemnly waiting for the king’s verdict. Which they already knew.
The king looked at those hundred or so boys and girls, yes they were merely boys and girls. Their ages ranging from teenage to early thirties. Beautiful, fresh flowers a little dulled by six months in captivity.
His eyes zeroed on their leader. A tall, dark guy, with prominent tribal features and strong jaws. His jaws told that he was a man of determination. His age was somewhere near thirty five.
“Whats your name young man?” the king asked him.
“Rajen Tudu.” The guy answered. The king noted he answered him with due respect but slipped the “my lord” part.
He came down from his throne and headed towards him. “Do you know the punishment of showing disrespect to the king?” he asked. “and the punishment of rebelling against the kingdom, causing damage to the kingdom?”
“I know.” He answered. His face showed no fear.
24.10.2009
The king stood right in front of him. He was a few inches taller than Rajen, well built. His hair has all turned white but that increased his elegant charm.
“So you think that you are a Messiah, right?” he asked tauntingly, “Out there to help poor villagers from the evil clutches of king.”
“Lets see how much you can do when you are in power, or to be precise how much you will do when you are in power.” He laughed.
The guards removed the chains from each and every one of them at his instruction.
The courtiers gawked when a group of royal servants carried another throne and placed it just beside his throne.
The king removed his stole and wrapped it around Rajen’s shoulder.
“You were right that night, I have become blind, but that’s because I am too old to handle the kingdom. If I had a child he or she would have been older than you. So I would have been relieved of this duty years ago…” he said solemnly.
“From today onward my whole kingdom will treat you as my son. If you walk your talk, I will happily close my eyes after handing over the headache of kingdom to you.” The king smiled mischievously, as the rebels stood staring at him with moist eyes.
thats all folks (?).... :)
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This is lovely dearest Trisha, you really have come of age in writing. Wonderful. Don't stop, keep it as exciting for the rest of the episodes :)
ReplyDeleteHistorical fiction is an often ignored branch in our land. There were some good works a long time back. Nothing new I think
dearest sam,
ReplyDeletewith a reader like you any writer will give out her best.. :)
Famine is terrible. I have heard of a time when the poor in my village had to pluck such LEAVES for a meal. But they are nutritious too. Good iron content. Once the same leaves were used to scrub the body clean when taking a bath.
ReplyDeleteThe story is somehow losing its charm dear Trisha. The opening was great, but this episode is a little dull.
my dear lil boy,
ReplyDeletereality is never charming below poverty level.. you wanted me to write about reality, right?
so this is reality of tribals of india. this is what they mostly eat, even when there is no shortage of food grains in our country.
you want some more doses of reality? the first dose brought you down to the glamourless world.
:( you know sam, once a bengali poet wrote "to a hungry eye the full moon is like a bread (roti)"
this is why i dont deal with reality in my works.. its a fire that singes the souls of the writers.
Thanks for the motherly sentiment dearest Trisha :) I always picture myself as sitting in the laps of my divine goddess. So I love the mother part in every woman.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, it was not of the horror in reality part I was talking of, I wanted it brought out more powerfully, like driving hot iron shafts into the inner core, so that there would be catharsis in the readers hearts.
dearest sam,
ReplyDeleteglad to know that you are grown up.. though.. :)
well, i am not the ones who try to create a strong drama, i prefer subtle words here and there..
Nice ending to the story dearest Trisha :)
ReplyDeleteI would have you rule, instead of the rebel. You would have been a sweet and benign princess, with such a lovely heart inside.
Okay the king seems very perspicacious to have summed up the state of affairs from the appearance of the rebels. No need to elaborate further.
dearest sam,
ReplyDeletemy brother also joined you.. he said its boring :( lack lustre, etc etc...
i have given it a special touch and will put it up in the final blog..please check it there if you can and let me know if it has become alive a little. :)
Okay I will :)
ReplyDeletei will wait for your comment :)
ReplyDeleteWell Dearest Trisha
ReplyDeleteI looked at the revised tale. It's only barely altered and there seems to be something impeding the free flow of the story. I don't know if giving headings to the separate parts or inserting I II III IV would make it better.
You could try to join the whole parts together by adding a few sentences perhaps. Like this:
The first part ends and you continue with something like
"And thus began the search for the rebels"
Or any meaningful sentences to link it the next part. Try it.
Or may be I am wrong. You know, I am still to write a good story myself :)
ReplyDeletei too am at a little trouble about linking the parts... i will see some novels, how they link.
ReplyDeleteyou know basically i write for people with a little brain, who dont need spoon feeding, so i will check the works of legendary writers and act as they do.
as far as i remember, they simply use double para.. and when writing novels they use chapters, but i am yet to write a novel. i may have to apply such things for "Cursed"
well to me your stories are quite good.. as i have told you earlier, i believe you have talent.. because you can think about unique themes, which i cant.
ReplyDeletevery frankly, i dont dig deep in stories, poems, work of art... i dont care much about their infrastructure :) all i want is something which will move me and will leave a print in my mind/heart/soul or all three of them.
i believe that works of art and literature shall never be chained by any thing.. so i too follow that rule myself.
Well dearest Trisha,
ReplyDeleteThe only 'brain' that is taking an interest in your stories at present seems to be mine as you have yourself admitted ;) I don't know how good it is, though it was known to gather IQ points around 147 on the Stanford- Binet scale when I last checked ;)
It is not very good anyway, just above average.
It seems okay for common purposes and it usually grasps the most abstruse of subjects within a very short span of time. But I must admit that your stories have proved tougher to me than the "Finnegans Wake" of James joyce.
Your this story is too subtle for my poor intellect dearest Trisha.
As to my having a talent for writing stories, again I don't know, may be I have none you know ;)
And as you say it is better to follow your inner promptings than anything else, after all it is your life ;)
dearest sam,
ReplyDeletewell, i think you are a dreamer, that is why you did not liked this story :)
its hard to digest is not it, that while we waste food there are people out there who eat grass seed and leaves, that too when they can get it?
i will rework on this story, this story is still in my mind, may the the reality in this story is so harsh that my heart is not ready to dig deep....
i am not very good at practicing nonchalance toward pain of others.. :( i get emotionally involved. empathy is my greatest weakness.
Dearest Trisha,
ReplyDeleteMy God, you are revealing your hitherto unseen features to me ;)
Well you know, I certainly would not like to state my stand on the issue for you already would have worked it out to a nicety as is your wont.
Anyway I have only one doubt, you believe in fate, and that it can't be changed any way we try, so why worry about things like woe and destitution in the world?
You know it is their fate, those people are destined to suffer it, nothing is going to change it. I think your friends would also support you in it ;)
grrr.. no i dont take human misery as their fate, i will rather hope and try to open the eyes of those who can do something for them..
ReplyDeletesay for example, if anil ambani reads this story and adcopts some tribal villages, or rahul gandhi reads it and does something for BPLs of india.. wont that be far better?
Honestly, to make that happen (I have to say this dearest Trisha, please don't be cross) the story has to be a deeply moving one. Which at present this is not.
ReplyDeleteYet what a transformation from a convinced fatalist to a chiseler of destinies ( its a joke).
I am proud of you ;)
This comment moderation is nice, I like its uncertainty. I know it is some sort of a glitch.
ReplyDeleteOr did you say anything bad to me to be ashamed to see my comments or let others see my comments? That request of "hah read the comment again" seems to have some significance in this. Well whatever you said in that, I forgive you dearest Trisha, don't punish yourself for it ;)